Lately, the word "patient" has been used a lot in our household. Every morning and night, I pray for patience. It seems like we are always telling Lewis to be patient. And this past weekend, I seem to have lost my patience.
It seems that for the past week or so, our good little boy has been replaced by Dennis the Menace on speed. Every time I turn my back, I find Lewis into something he shouldn't be into, sprinting for his life as I try to wrangle him into his pajamas, playing with every toy instead of putting them into his baskets, kicking and flailing when I try to change him, and when I don't, soaking/leaking out of his diaper onto my couch. In short, being a typical (almost) two year old.
The problem with all of this, is that discipline seems to have no effect on him. I have used my meanest mommy voice and he continues to do what he is doing with what I consider to be a very wicked smile. If he pulls my hair in fun, he doesn't seem to understand when I say "Ouch! That hurts Mommy!" If he doesn't put away his toy, and I take it away from him, he just goes on and plays with something else. In time out, I hear him sometimes laughing and giggling. I love that he is so resiliant, but sometimes I feel myself losing patience with him and raising my voice--"That's it! No stories! You are going straight to bed!" and after that, I feel so guilty yelling at him. On top of it all, he has decided he doesn't need to take a nap, and spends an hour and a half throwing everything out of his crib, pulling clothes out of his hamper, and pushing the crib out a mile from the wall. The silver lining is when he doesn't take a nap, at least he is ready for bed by 7:30 pm.
On the bright side, Lewis now tells me "I love you!", gives the best hugs and kisses, and tries to make me laugh with his funny faces. He is sweet, affectionate, and very verbal. This more than makes up for all the frustrating times. I am interested if other moms and dads have had children totally resilient to any kind of discipline or punishment, and what works best for them. I do have to say that I think positive reinforcement seems to work best for Lewis. He does respond very well to praise and hugs, and I try to show that often. However, sometimes you do need to discipline and I just wish I was more effectual.
2 comments:
I'm not the best disciplinarian. My mom thinks I don't have a mean voice--and believe me, I try to sound firm when it matters.
What does (usually) work for me is being eye to eye with my kids and connecting with them. Isaac refused to eat his mac and cheese last night, and I just talked with him and said I didn't want to punish him. I just wanted him to make a great choice and eat his dinner. Amazingly, he did it.
With Lucy today, I asked if I could have a great big hug while I was holding her and she pushed me instead. I put her down and said, "You need to be kind when I hold you. No pushing." She cried and asked to be held again. And she didn't push again. If I act like I expect my children to act well (and they're not in the middle of enormous tantrums, and thus completely unable to connect), things can go well. I'm just very verbal with my kids and I know you are too. I think that helps.
Sandy, yes, please send me your swimsuit! It will probably be too tight, but the alternative is terrible. If you don't mind sending the suit, I'll mail you a check for the shipping and whatever else you think is fair! And you are way skinnier than I am--I just have a short torso:).
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